“I don’t care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I’m not around
You’re so fucking special
I wish I was special”  – Creep by radiohead

Other than the paper cut I just got, things are looking up. I am changing mentally, to change physically. I have been trying to lose weight for two years now.  Working out on and off for months at a time. I’ve lost up to 15 lbs, but I have since gained it back. Over my 5 years relationship with Tyler I gained over 30 lbs.  In all reality I am strong, balanced,  flexible and have decent endurance. As sad as it sounds, this is more of an esthetics thing.  I have been having the BMI tell me that I am overweight for far too long.

Plan:

Routine, routine, routine. God, old me would hate me about now. I joined film because I couldn’t stand monotony, or routine. Variety really was my spice of life. Film fit that perfectly. Now the unstableness of film is getting to me, so I am getting out. I am actually craving routine in my life now. What the Hell? I am looking for a full time job, doing anything really. I just want to focus on saving money for school and my extracurricular activities.  As soon as my job problem is solved,  I am  signing up for the Winnipeg Roller Derby Team! It’s the perfect way to stay active and make friends.  Plus it’s pretty badass.

I would also join kickboxing, but it’s pretty expensive. Roller derby I just need to buy the equipment. *arm pump*

With this weightloss I am going to do one of those photo time lapses. You obviously won’t be able to see it for a while. I’d guess you can see it in a year. That seems reasonable.